So I've been trying to get creative lately and I just can't do anything. Its like I stopped caring about everything. I'm eating a lot less, doing a lot less, and snapping at everyone without a reason. I mean, I screamed at my brother for absolutely nothing! So, I decided that something was not right and went to my doctor...I thought I was over this...
Turns out I have S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder). The doctor says the causes of it are unknown but they do have a few theories. Apparently it has something to do with your serotonin and melanin levels; in the summer time, they're really high due to the fact that there's a lot of sunlight and lots of ultra-violet light. When winter comes around, there's much less sunlight which, in turn, means you have less need of serotonin and melanin. They think that the decreasing levels of serotonin and melanin can cause a person to suffer SAD. That could be part of it. I also think that it has something to do with a lot of bad memories associated with winter. My doctor said that could be part of it too. And you know what's great about it? I have to buy a special lamp and sit under it for awhile to get better. Right... I told my doctor that I was planning on moving to Texas and he said that moving would probably be better than the light. He explained that SAD happens more often in individuals who are further away from the equator than those close to it. Makes sense. I also wonder if it has something to do with the fact that I practically lack melanin. I'm one of those types that can't tan...I just burn. -_- He also said that it can be genetic. My aunt has it, so I don't know if that's what he means. Why am I telling this to all of DA? To explain why I suddenly stopped drawing. This has happened before, (like last year) so it explains a lot.

On top of that, I've had some peculiar dreams lately. The first dream had something to do with my cousin taking in this beautiful black horse (in reality she can't). He (I think...) was wearing black English tack with a white saddle pad and the buckles were all silver and his coat gleamed to perfection. He looked like a champion hunter! But he looked kinda weird; he had the Arabian dished head but the rest of him looked Thoroughbred. Then, a few nights later, I dreamed that my parents were going to buy two horses, one for me and one for my brother. We looked everywhere for horses for the two of us until we came across two horses. One was a bay horse (assuming that one's male) and a black mare. Once again, the black mare looked exactly like the horse in my last dream. We took them to a stable where we were going to board and ride at. The next day arrived (in the dream) and I went to the stable alone, since my brother didn't want to ride that day, and went to my horse. With the help of some of the staff, we put shoes on her, groomed her, and took her out to ride. She was the epitome of my perfect horse. Why is this strange? 1) I hardly ever dream about horses, 2) The horses were both exactly the same: pure black with no markings and impossibly perfect. Not to mention the fact that seeing black horses in your dreams is supposed to be a bad thing. Kelpie anyone? xD I don't know...

Just some random information I thought I'd share. :/